You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
