I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My dick has a subreddit
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
