I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
