It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
