Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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