Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
