She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
