just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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