I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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