party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
