Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
