girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i dont even know how to be here
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
