she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
