well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
These tits shall not be calmed
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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