it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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