We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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