you have to choose: penises or morals?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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