I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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