I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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