Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
