I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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