I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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