Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
