so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
