U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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