u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
