When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
