arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
