We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
