i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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