I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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