3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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