this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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