he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
