If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
