Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
