I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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