He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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