Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
