i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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