is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
