love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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