Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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