So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
