oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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