is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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