im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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