White coat. Heels.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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