4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
