No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
